Yes, I still live!

To all of my friends, family and followers...I'M SORRY!!! I haven't posted in a very long time and there is no excuse except for laziness. As most of you already know, I am in remission! I had my 1st "post remission" PET Scan on August 14th and found out on the 18th that again, I have a clean bill of health! At least on the Cancer side of things. I did recently find out that my Kidney Stones are back but what can you do...??
On a more crummy note, my husband lost his job on August 11th and is really getting stir crazy not working. Between he & I, we have filled out 17 applications and he has interview with one company. That is the one job we are all praying he gets. He will be home with his girls and I every night of the week!! YAY!!! It has been so awesome having him home every night but at this point, for his own sanity, I hope something comes up for him soon.
Well, I guess that is all for now. Just trying to get myself in to the mood to start cooking meals for my family again & looking for new ways to save our pennies. It is getting too close to the holidays to not start cutting back somewhere!!

Have a most wonderful & blessed day, week and month! Not too sure how often I will get to check back so I want to be sure you all know I am thinking of you always!

Hugs & smiles...

Kristi

Yes, I do still live...and will kick this!!

April 27, 2009

Well, I did in fact survive round 2 of Chemo and am now feeling the after effects of toxic cocktail #3.  This time was different...not sure why.  Maybe the extra week that I had to recoup from #2 had something to do with it.  My wbc's were way up (for me) and my rbc's were down??  What's up with that??  Anyway, the side effects of the actual chemo infusion this time have now rid me of yet another fast food restaurant.  McDonald's Big Macs are no longer a favorite.  That is a good thing since I will be back on Weight Watchers after this next week or two.   Food right now is not a pleasant thing...nothing is good...but I am still eating it.  I again, don't know what I want...ahhh, the confusion.  The fact that I am on meds to prevent nausea and diarrhea makes me totally feel like my stomach is ready to explode.  Pardon the visual but I need to either barf or crap, neither of which is happening.  I have been having headaches as a side effect of the Zofran.  The steroids have been wreaking havoc on my sleep again but hopefully tonight will be the end of that since today was my last dose.   Typing sucks too...cause of the numb fingers...but the bright spot with this is that I DO know this will get better because it did last week.  It was almost completely gone!!  YAY!!  Now it is back...and is about as annoying as that cat I hear howling cause it wants to go outside - which will get better soon too..LOL!  

Now all I have to worry with is avoiding the "Swine Flu"... ;)

Not feeling it this time around...

April 6th, 2009

Last recoup time was much easier than this one.  I started having rapid heart beats, shortness of breath, headaches and just an all over crummy feeling.  Went to the doc today to have by CBC done again and my numbers are LLLLLLOOOOWWW....to the point that I should not come in contact with anyone that is or has been sick.  Funny thing, I just went back to work this week.  Doctor put me on an antibiotic so pray that this stuff will take care of the Neutropenia that I now have...

The last Chemo on April 16, I will be requesting the shot no matter how painful...in the long run, it is much more appealing than ending up in the hospital!

Some photos...look ma, no hair!

This was me yesterday, April 1st. Not feeling at that good and I guess it showed...

Chemo...take 2!!

4/2/09

Hello my friends...so sorry it has been so long in between posts. I'm telling you this Chemo stuff is for the birds...LOL. I can't decide if I am tired and want to take a nap or full of energy to run a marathon. Either way, since my last post, I have taken on the bald look. It's not so bad except that it makes for some cold mornings. Oh, and I have noticed I have Spock ears. Some men might find that sexy so why should I complain? I almost prefer the bald look to my wigs which is really sad because my wigs are so very cute. It's just a comfort issue I think. It is very difficult to explain but my head sweats and then gets cold and itches and the strangest thing...the dog tries to lick my head...all the dang time!! It is very freaky...LOL. So when I go out, the wig comes on and when I am home, the wig comes off and the dog gets put in his crate...

This 2nd round was a treat because Randy went with me and got to experience the fun associated with sitting for 6 hours watching bags of various colored fluids drip in to an IV. I made every effort to have an entertaining day for us. I brought us some snacks, my laptop with some movies, cards which we didn't even open and books from the waiting room. Within the first 10 to 15 minutes I was drooling so there he sat, bored out of his mind. I put on a movie for him but it was too dark so I tried for another and another until he finally gave in and sat quietly watching. I had to help him with the volume a time or two because the movie he was watching had some foul language in it which I am sure impressed the lady next to us...yes, the lady in the chair next to us READING her Bible!! Ugh, could he not have chosen to watch Fireproof again or All Dogs go to Heaven? Nope, he had to watch some action adventure shoot 'em up movie with the occasional *F* Bomb...this poor lady will our next round. She was next to me the first time but my mom and I were much more reserved I think...LOL.

Oh, during the infusion, my cell phone rang and the number was long distance so in my goofy drugged stooper, I am telling my cousin, Ashley, to hold on...but it was my friend, Dee, calling to wish me well and tell me she loved me. I felt like such a goon...Dee, it was the Ativan if you are reading this!! I love you too!! I was so happy to hear from her...she is such a special friend and for her to take the time to call me that day was just awesome! I know Randy was wondering what the heck I was saying and to who...LOL. I love being out of control mentally and verbally...NOT! So after the call, it seemed like it was time for lunch already! I was suddenly having new cravings. Not the same cheese pizza cravings I had been dealing with from Chemo Round 1. This time it was ONIONS!!! I MUST HAVE ONION RINGS!! My wonderful hubby obliged and off to Jack in the Box he went for a Grilled Sourdough Burger and Onion Rings...I can tell you right now, I may never eat another onion ring as long as I live. The next day those onions were still coming back up. (Sorry for the visual). Once lunch was over, he went back to his movie but the fun had just begun for me. He said he would be talking to me or watching me and then suddenly I would be snoring. Then I would start talking again....and within a few seconds here came the snores. What a trooper he was for hanging out with me that day. I imagine my last Chemo is once again to be reserved for my mommy. She is less likely to hold it against me in the future =)

I can't recall much of the day after that...I think we picked Kodie up from school and then all I remember was sleep...for days. I have been working from home but it would seem as if most of my energy in the beginning was in the evenings. I recall the first Chemo being that way too. The lovely 5oomg of steriods over the first 5 days totally messed me up sleep wise. This time I have had a few good nights but right now, I feel mentally as if I could run a marathon but physically as if I could sleep again, for days. Not happening though. When you have Chemo, you are told to rest...nap when you need it...okay, I need it!! But I can't do it...this is not fair...I want to sleep...I am tired but not sleepy...oh, and I am hungry but nauseous at the same time...figure that one out. It is almost silly the way this stuff is working.

On a very positive note, I went in to see my Radiation Oncologist for my last visit a few weeks ago and I asked him about the new pain that I had recently started feeling. I asked him if it was the Chemo killing the Cancer cells that was causing the pain. His response - "No, the Chemo has done it's job...now your bone is regrowing and that is the pain you are feeling"...I pray that that is what is going on in my body and Dr. Gilbert is correct! I will be happy to say I am in remission for 1 year, 2 years, 10 years & forever!! That is my goal and I refuse to accept anything else. I am open to the fact that just one bad cell can create a whole world of mess for me but I know that God is in control and that won't be happening...there will be no more agressive cells alive to do anymore damage. My whole situation is a testimony as to how wondeful our God is! I will sit any day with a non believer and tell them the whole story of how my Cancer just happened to be discovered...and we can discuss whether this was a chance happenening or if a higher power had His hand in it...the answer in the end, will be perfectly clear...Our God is an Awesome God!!

Now...just have to make it through the next few days of my White Blood Counts playing their dropping games and when that is done and I am feeling better it will be just in time for my last Chemo that is scheduled for April 16th at 9:00am...I say we should have a party!! Anyone wanna come along??

Hopefully I won't wait so long to blog. This adventure will soon be coming to an end and I have hardly fulfilled my duty to keep you all up to date and entertained...I must do better in the future!!

Love you all & thanks for reading!!

Adventure isn't hanging on a rope off the side of a mountain. Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the day to day obstacles of life - Facing new challenges, seizing new opportunities, testing our resources against the unknown and in the process, Discovering our own unique potentional.

Crazy new haircut...

3/17/09

Well, I went and did it...cut all my hair off. I never thought I would give in but something hit me last Friday night and I decided to go get it professionally chopped off right in to a mohawk. Hey, it's a once in a lifetime for me cause I am almost through with this adventure =) What's the old saying "when life gives you lemons..." Well, life gave me an opportunity to do something I wish I would have had the guts to do in the 80's when it was cool to have funky colored spiky hair. I am pretty sure I am damaging my kids for life...LOL! Nah, really, they were right there with me so it's all good!

Here is a picture of the finished "normal" product...hubby and I with our "Bring It!" looks...we aren't scared!

Oh...and here is my St. Patty's Day Mohawk:

No telling what is next to come...I am gonna enjoy each and every funky hair while I still have them!

Okay, you asked for it...the whole WHINEY TRUTH!

3/11/09

I guess I have been intentionally avoiding blogging about the whole Chemo experience because I didn't want to become a whiney little baby in public. Fact is, you my friends, were not invited to my pity party. It was purely out of love for you that I had not included you to this point. . I wanted to be strong & tough and prove to you all that I could do this....well, I can do this...just not in the way that would make you proud.

I am a mess. I don't feel good and I hate it! I want to be at work with my friends. I want to be part of the group again, not part of me and my laptop sitting at home "free from germs" (yeah right...in my house??) so I don't get an infection worse than what is already brewing in me. Okay, so am I sounding pitiful enough? It's not like they have me on lockdown...truth is, I just have no energy to get up, get dressed and get out there...and in the words of the nurse - "if you can, we would prefer you work from home this week"...yeah, no problem...it's not like the amount of medications you have me on are going to make driving a safety issue or anything...duh.

So here it is...how do I really feel? Well, the day of Chemo, I believe I became a "true ditsy blonde"...I just remember saying stupid stuff and feeling kinda out of it. Towards the end, I felt a lot like I had the flu. I went home and took the nausea meds and probably slept...I can't remember. The next day, I was feeling pretty good but nothing sounded good as far as food....cause nothing had flavor but I never got that strange metallic taste that other people talk about...still, I use plastic utensils. I know I went to church Sunday but that is about it....yawned through most of the sermon...sorry Preacher...The rest is pretty much a blur...I have blisters on the back of my throat, everything I eat or drink makes my cheeks hurt, my nose runs like a faucet, I have had an ongoing dull headache for days...kinda like someone smacked me in the face with a frying pan...waking up in the morning with a 300lb invisible gorilla sitting on my chest is great...making it difficult to breathe. I am shedding like a long haired cat in the heat of the Summer...it's great to see your hair in everyone's food...lol. Adds flavor =) I am so ready to have this crap shaved off...this weekend my friends, this weekend!! Oh, and most recently, Neuropathy!! What a great feeling! My fingertips are numb but my hands feel like someone is sending shocks through the veins down in to my hands and up to my shoulders. Seriously, is that enough? I will save the irritability and mood swings for another day. I am pretty sure this post just knocked me down a few notches on the "we are so proud of you" ladder...

Sorry my friends...the truth of the matter is this...CHEMO SUCKS!

Footprints In the Sand

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND

One night I had a dream.

I dreamed I was walking along the beach with God and across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand, one belonged to me and the other to God.

When the last scene of my life flashed before us I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that at certain times along the path of life there was only one set of footprints.

I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of my life. This really bothered me and I questioned God about it.

"God you said that once I decided to follow you, you would walk with me all the way but I noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints in the sand. I don't understand why in times I needed you most you would leave me"

God replied, "My precious, precious child. I love you and would never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints in the sand it was then I was carrying you."

Rollercoasters....wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

And so the real countdown begins...or maybe I should say, already began. Ever since radiation ended, the positive and happy attitude has gone in to hiding...well, sort of. What began as an "adventure" that I was ready to face head on has suddenly become scary reality that I want to run and hide from. I am having an argument of sorts with my psyche as to why I am going to have to go through hell to feel better when I didn't feel bad as it was. I totally understand that I am blessed to have had this Cancer discovered as early as I did and I should be grateful that there are doctors and medicines that can potentially cure me but still...part of me just doesn't get it. Maybe it is my "inner child" saying how unfair it is...I don't know. Whatever the case, I am scared. Scared of the unknown, scared of the possible side effects, scared of not being able to be there for my husband and kids, scared of falling behind on my job...you name it, I am afraid of it. Stupid, I know but I can't get over the feelings. I have been an emotional mess some days, other days I am strong as the proverbial Ox. I guess it was about time I faced the reality of it all and cried though. It actually feels good to just break down and be human every now and then. I don't want to make a habit of it though...crying that is...not being human! With all that being said, I have an appointment with my Oncologist tomorrow to discuss a few concerns that I am having and I am fairly certain that should calm my fears for the moment. Then again, that inner child of mine is a strong willed brat!

Oh!! I almost forgot!! I got letters last week from my "Chemo Angels" and they both seem very sweet and a lot like me...as in a lot of the same interests. It's kind of cool to have pen pals and I hope I can write back to them and share my life with them! I need to make that a priority this week...plus I have tons of thank you cards to write! I thought I would take them with me to my Chemo appointment and write them then. Mom will be with me so she can kick me in the butt to get them done! I am the worlds worst procrastinator as it is and this situation has not helped a bit! I have asked mom to bring her camera with her so she can take pictures of my treatment...should be interesting.

Alright...enough babbling for now. I have things to do tonight but I just don't have the drive. Blah! I wish I could wake up and this would all be a dream...

Radiation is over...let the FUN begin!!

Radiation ended last Friday and it was a little sad because of the friends I met but happy because I no longer have to endure the skin burning ritual.  Friday night was a celebration of sorts and I had devised a plan of attack to get back at one of the techs for razzing me about some photos he took.  Hey, they were taken against my will!!  Anyway, as of this evening, the plan was set in motion and my life is NOW complete...LOL.  Never mess with the queen of practical jokes!!  Oh, and don't think you can hide from me...I will find you!!  Hahaha...all harmless fun and I will have to go back in 3 weeks for a check up so I am sure this tech and I will come face to face and I will probably get pay back but it was all worth it =)

10 days til Chemo starts...woohoo!  I am gonna enjoy the heck out of the next few days!!!  Anyone up for a party??

1...

Now that my 25 radiation treatments are coming to an end, I decided to recap the experience in photos. Some are not the best pics but you can see where I spent my mornings for the last 5 weeks.

This is Maria, the receptionist. She is a sweetheart and she puts up with my silly rantings every morning!

After I would scan my card and chit chat with Maria, this is the "long walk" I would take...

...down the hall...

...past the nurses station & rooms...

...to the dressing rooms & waiting area.

Here is my dressing room and a picture of me in my "designer" gown:

Here is the lovely waiting area:

And just around this corner:

THE MONSTER:
(and Cassie & Koi - two of the technicians)

Here is a picture of the whole tech team and my Dr. The names noted in the picture are the people that have taken such wonderful care of me!

...and last but not least, a picture of my shoulder about half way through the treatments...take what you see and imagine it about 3 times worse that this picture. At this point you can see a red, irritated, almost blistery rash beginning to appear:

Yuck! It got worse but I will spare you those photos! Through it all, I'd have to say it wasn't too bad. Everyone at NCC took such wonderful care of me and I will miss them all! Hopefully, after tomorrow, I will only be back to visit and say hello!!

Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death.
~ Author Unknown

2...

...I am at a loss for words believe it or not.

3...

Just 3 days of radiation to go. I am so excited but I sure will miss the new friends I have gained. The only thing I WON'T miss is having to expose "my girls" to 2 guys every day. Boy, they pulled a good one on me and rotated techs so for the rest of this week, I get to go through the ultimate humiliation. Could they not have told me that this would be happening so I could...um...have rushed out and gotten a boob job or at least stop eating for a week or five!? I feel..well...I just don't like being on display. They leave the room to do the treatment and I can just picture them looking at me in the camera and making moo noises...LOL. Okay, enough personal stuff.

Short blog tonight...gotta watch American Idol!

Music is what feelings sound like. ~Author Unknown

Life on hold...but only for a moment.

February 12, 2009

Hi everyone...sorry for not blogging much lately. After my last rant, I figured I would make sure my attitude was brighter before I returned. Today was exceptional, though I have felt like a ping pong ball bouncing around inside of a jar. (Like that one? LOL) I feel like I have so many things to do but just not enough time in the day to do them but hopefully I will catch up with myself so I can take a break.

Tuesday's doctor visit was interesting to say the least. Dr. Gilbert wasn't too excited about the looks of my skin - especially under my arm - so he put my last 5 radiation treatments on hold until Monday, in hopes that the redness & irritation would start to heal. So far, no good. It seems as if under my arm has gotten worse so they prescribed me another cream and told me to use this stuff called Domeboro twice a day. I have to "soak" my armpit in this stuff. That alone is a feat...LOL. Actually, it is do-able...just messy. Anyway, we are hoping this will help it to show some improvement by Monday morning when I go back. If all goes well, I will be finished with this part on Friday! Keep your fingers & toes crossed =)

On another note, I have to once again tell you guys, you are the most awesome friends a girl could have! Today I received two crochet (sp?) hats to wear when I lose my hair and another friend made me the most beautiful shawl with a "message" behind it. It was so cool!! I'm gonna look so cute with my new hats & I'll be so comfy with my new shawl. Everyone is so sweet & supportive...it is just the best feeling in the world to know I have so many people praying for me! How can I NOT be positive??

Rhona, Alice, Mary, Bobbie & Jan, Jeanne, Stephanie & Kim...you have all made me feel super special & I truly appreciate your kindness! There are so many of you that I haven't mentioned...but yes, you too are wonderful and your acts of kindness have not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

I love you all and I sincerely appreciate EVERYTHING!!

"The better part of one's life consists of his friendships."
- Abraham Lincoln

8 more days of shake & bake...Seriously??

February 6th, 2009 - 

When I was a teenager, I used to love to go to the lake with my family.  We would spend all day on the boat and I would typically come home looking like a lobster!  I don't have the kind of skin that tans...unless of course, I go through the pain of a burn to get there eventually, and pray it didn't all peel off  before I could actually claim I had a tan!  Typically, I would burn, blister & peel and become a miserable itching mess!  Okay, so I have learned that this is not fun nor is it intelligent therefore, I gave it up many years ago!  I am proud of my paper white skin because at least I know it is healthy & pain free!  

With all of that just said, how in the hell can I justify 8 more days of torture to my poor skin?  It is getting a bit ridiculous and I am not enjoying it anymore.  Sure, positive attitude is still there...some where.  Last night it got to me when I started having chills & feeling like I was running a fever.  I asked Randy when I could start pouting...LOL.  His answer: "Anytime you want, you are entitled!"  I love my husband!  Just giving me the okay was all I needed to drop my bottom lip and say "I don't like this anymore!" and then I was done.  Well, today, I felt much the same way but who was I going to pout to that would care?  The technicians have seen this all before and the say it's all normal.  Great, normal...getting worse every day is normal...lovely.  And each day that I "cook myself from the inside out" is just making my already sore & scabby skin more sore & scabby!  Lovely...and damn, it's making me grumpy too.  I want to sleep soundly and comfortably and all night through!!!  ARGH!!!   I don't want to wake up itching or in pain so I get the prescription for the special "radiation" cream filled...$129.00...nice...now if that's not painful, I don't know what else is!!

So ladies and gentleman, you have now seen it...Little Miss Sunshine has run away from home for the night and replaced you blogger with Oscar the Grouch...LOL.  Sorry folks...but ya can't expect me to be perky and positive all the time and the way I see it, this is a prelude to what is yet to come on March 5th.  My next blog could be posted my the Wicked Witch of Garland...who knows?

10 more days of fun & a poem shared...

February 4th, 2009:

This morning marks day 15 of radiation...only 10 to go and then my skin will finally get a chance to start healing. That will be a happy occasion. Oh, and I will get to wear deoderant again =)

I want to share something that my friend, Rhona shared with me yesterday. She came across this and said it reminded her of me. Well, to be honest, it reminds me of me...I could have written the same words myself.

The 3 Million Dollar Tanning Bed
By: Kathy Negro/ Breast Cancer Warrior

I walk into the office with apprehension and fear
The diagnosis of cancer is what we all share

Radiation is needed for 6 weeks and 3 days
Completed my chemo and now itʼs this phase

The entire staff is filled with compassion and care
They make you feel as if theyʼve known you for years

A mold is made from my chest to my head
To prevent me from moving and being misread

The next step seems to be exciting and new
Not one, not two but many small tattoos

The first day of treatment seems so surreal
The patients you meet know how you feel

It is time for radiation from the 3 million dollar tanning bed
You get on the table and gently lay down your head

You look up and the ceiling is filled with flowers galore
Your heart starts to beat and you feel anxiety to the core

The staff aligns you and each exits the room
It feels like youʼre awaiting some impending doom

I lie there alone and start to pray
It is painless, this so called radiation ray

Each visit gets easier and the staff becomes friends
Fear, apprehension and anxiety all begin to end

Yes, the skin can get red, blister and peel
But doctors will take care of anything you feel

These words are my gift of appreciation and gratitude
For encouraging me to always have a positive attitude

Each day I walk in, I smile as I have learned to cope
This office has given me care, kindness, but most of all hope

From the front desk to the doctor to each one of you
I am so grateful and proud of the job that you do.

Wow...this is my life right now...almost! Amazing...

I am having my radiation first and Chemo second so other than flowers on the ceiling, that is about the only difference.

I think that even though I am happy this part is almost over, I am a little sad that the people that I have spent the last several weeks with, bright & early every weekday morning, will be a part of my past. I have met some really nice people in the waiting room...people I would love to get to know better but there is not a whole lot that one can say in the 5 minutes we share together waiting our turn. We are all different, though we are all going through the same things emotionally. Somehow we share a unique bond. This whole "adventure" has been unique...and as strange as this sounds, I am glad I am getting to experience it. I would not change my life right now for anything in the world!* Cancer has "changed me"... but in a good way.


Daniel 2:21 -
And he changes the times and the seasons: he removes kings, and sets up kings: he gives wisdom to the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding:


*disclaimer
I have the right to recant that statement at any time after March 5th, 2009 ;)

Bone Marrow Biopsy results...

YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

My biopsy came back NEGATIVE so that means only 3 Chemo treatments!

Oh, and better yet, NO MORE BONE MARROW BIOPSIES!!!!!

Check out the SmartShopper!!

Just a brief interruption to the day...not much to post other than I NEED THIS!!! Check out what Blessings Abound is giving away to one lucky blog reader! The SMARTSHOPPER will be the perfect necessity to my "grocery store loving household" and so handy for Randy when I am not feeling up to shopping. Just press the record button, speak and it will catagorize AND print a list!!

Stop by, take a look, leave a comment or subscribe to Jacqueline's blog and maybe you will be the winner!

Halfway there...almost!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009 6:58pm

Today was visit number 11 out of 25 visits to the big radiation machine. Still, there is not much to tell.

I am patiently awaiting the results of my Bone Marrow Biopsy that I had last Thursday. I tried to call all day today but the lines were busy...yes all day!! If the results come back in my favor, it will reduce my length of Chemo to only 3 treatments - one every three weeks. I am seriously praying harder than ever for that because I have talked to several people about the side effects of "RCHOP Therapy" and they are not nice! I fear if I have to take Prednisone for too long, I will end up divorced or in prison...(it's a joke!). Anyway, I may not have many friends during that treatment.

Oh, before I forget...the best thing to come out of last Thursday...RANDY LIKES MY DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!! Randy hates doctors so this is a major thing...I promise you!! I want him to feel comfortable with my treatment and the doctors that are treating me so I am thrilled more than ever about it!

Okay folks...enough rambling...American Idol is on and I am tired so that's all for now.

Hopefully I will have some good news to share soon...TTFN!!

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit

What day is this? 7 I think...

I know you were expecting news from the visit with my Radiation Oncologist yesterday and I must apologize for not blogging last night. After doing some running around with my girls, I got home and was just beat. I got on Facebook and learned some really cool stuff that I am going to tell you about before I explain with Dr. Gilbert told me.
Back in December I was sitting in the Radiology wating room drinking my lovely Apple Barium, getting ready for a CT Scan. Well as people came and went I looked around the room, feeling very alone becuase this time I chose to go alone. No mom, no hubby, just me. So I saw this friendly young lady sitting behind me and I turned to comment to her probably on the job of gulping down the 2 big cups of Apple Barium. We chatted for a few minutes and she told me her story. I was in awe over how her Cancer was discovered and how open she was to talk to me about it. So off I went for my CT and told her goodbye. Little did I know this same lady was a girl I went to school with and one I reconnected with on Facebook just a few short days ago. As we started chatting last night, one thing lead to another and it seems she was my friend in the waiting room! Small world!! God is so amazing with the way he brings people in to others lives for comfort & support and probably a whole slew of other reasons. She and I even have the same Hemotology Oncologist...it's really pretty wild! Just had to share that with you...she is a great new friend and I am glad I can talk to her about my situation if need be!

So on to what the Radiation Oncologist said....first off in answer to my question as to how we would know the Radiation is working...he said in a few months I would go in for another PET Scan to see how my shoulder looked. No problem...I can do that. Next they looked at my skin and gave me the A+ on that. Aside from a bit of itching, it looked good. Then I asked him about the pain and why is it getting worse than better. It seems to be radiating down my arm and at times, my arm feels broken. Basically the bone is being "remodeled"...the cells are being killed with the Radiation and the bone has to "regrow" healthy cells so the pain I am feeling is normal for now. I have been dragging my behind for the last two days just feeling plain YUCKY which could very well be part of the treatment as my body is working harder to make good cells or something like that. They told me to boost my immune system with vitamin C or something like that. I think I will be eating them by the dozen as I already eat several oranges a day. I am just beginning to feel like I've been run over by a dump truck and I don't like that at all! I guess it could be all the sick people that I have come in contact with lately too...blech to germs!!
Oh, and as for the weight loss...nix that idea for a while. They don't want me to lose too much because it will alter the whole set up with my tattoos and lining me up each day. Then again, I shouldn't be gaining weight either cause that might mess it up too! It's a no win situation...oh well...better days are ahead...it is temporary!
Tomorrow is my bone marrow biopsy and I was terrified of the pain until my wonderful mommy reminded me that not only have I experienced Childbirth twice but I have had Kidney Stones 4 times at least! She said there is no way this could be worse than my last Kidney Stone issue in August of 08. She is soooo right! I will still go in mellow and relaxed with some help from my Xanax or Ambien just so I don't cuss the doctor *I like him* too much =)

Okay folks, off to be tonight...thanks for your kind comments & for proving to me someone does read my blogs!!

It is idle to dread what you cannot avoid.
~Publius Syrus